Final Check Out – Jenny Duffy

It has been 212 days since I took on the challenge of eating vegan. It’s been an interesting journey, and I must admit I am better for it. So, how did I do? How did it all turn out?

Well, in the last four weeks I have regressed backward towards flexitarianism. It started with allowing some dairy into my diet when eating at restaurants. This started out of pure irritation with the lack of choice when dining out.

Dining Out as a Vegan Sucks

When you are a vegan, this is your dining experience in a nutshell:

-Identify potentially vegan items on the menu (10% at most)

-Ask the server if said items can be veganized

-Order from the vegan friendly items (usually reduced to 2 or 3 items)

-Drink lots of wine to make up for the lack of gastronomic stimulation

I found after a while that I didn’t look forward to eating out with friends, because there was no anticipation, no excitement to be had from perusing the menu.

Dining as a vegan is a logical, menu-item filtering process. As a foodie, I found this mechanized form of dining laborious and joyless. I was also drinking way too much. So, in the past weeks I bent the rules for dairy.

Hellooooooo risotto! How I have missed you these past few months.

Primal Need to Roast Meat for my Man

After the dairy, I started exploring organic, locally produced, free range meat. I love to cook, and I am damn good at it. I have mad skills. I can truss and butcher a chicken. I can sear, deglaze, emulsify, sauté, and roast. When you are vegan, you can’t use a lot of your skills because tofu doesn’t demand the same technical prowess as a beautiful cut of organic bison.

I began to fear that I was losing my ability to cook.

This was reinforced by the fact that I have an amazing new man in life. I have a deeply programmed need to prove my worth as a woman by cooking. And frankly, the thought of soaking lentils and marinating tofu for a Sunday dinner just doesn’t carry the same sentimental allure as roasting a whole chicken slowly, for hours, and finally sitting down as a family to eat.

I have to say, I sort of agree with Anthony Bourdain on this one. I have a deeply primal connection to the smell of roasting meat and family gatherings. The two go hand in hand for me.

Veganism as Means of Marginalization

Being vegan involves marginalization. When I began the challenge, I was in an unhealthy relationship. So when I began to eat separately from my partner, I was really saying “I am pulling away from you” with my eating habits. And it was kind of nice.

But when I went to family dinners and didn’t eat what everyone else was eating, I was also saying “I am not participating fully and am not connecting with you 100%”. For me, this separation was very painful.

The Status Quo

I believe I have fully explored my options while on this challenge, and I’ve found an eating plan that is right for me. I am 85% vegan, 10% vegetarian, 5% meat eater. So, I eat vegan at home. If I am out, I will allow dairy. And on the odd occasion, when it is of particular importance like a family dinner or a special meal, I will indulge in organic, free range meat or some sustainable seafood.

How It’s Impacted The Rest Of My Life

As any vegan will tell you, veganism opens the floodgates for a plethora of issues. The morality of eating and consuming becomes ever-present in your life.  Once you realize the environmental, moral and social impact of what you eat and drink, you begin to question the ethics of your entire life:

Is my bottled water causing irreparable damage to the environment and the social fabric of the United States and Canada? (Yes)

If I can’t trust food manufacturers to put human health ahead of profit, should I be worried about the chemicals that are in my household cleaners and beauty products? (Yes)

Does my desire for strawberries and avocados in the wintertime justify the huge carbon-footprint it leaves behind? Should we just go back to eating seasonally? (No, and yes)

Should I be worried about consuming too much soy? Is Monsanto really evil? (Yes)

How can I afford to eat organically and ethically all the time? It’s so expensive! (Grow your own garden, pickle/preserve the excess, and consume meat very infrequently).

Food is Precious

I was recently watching a documentary called “How to Cook Your Life”, which explores the Buddhist approach to eating and cooking. The most poignant lesson I’ve taken from it and adopted into my life recently is this:

Food is precious. Aren’t you precious? Aren’t you worth treating with care and mindfulness?

And the answer is a resounding yes. Because I am now eating organic, I can’t afford to waste food. When I cook, it is with an appreciative mind. I respect the food and what it is bringing me.

More importantly, on the handful of occasions when I have eaten meat, I have been truly appreciative. When meat costs $15 per serving, you think twice before eating it. And you really do see it as an act of sacrifice on the part of the animal. This animal has laid down it’s life for me, and the exchange of energy occurring is sacred.

This is a lesson in metaphysics and morality that you simply cannot get from eating a $1 hamburger.

What’s Next?

If I had a chance to do the vegan challenge all again, would I? Absolutely. It’s changed my life in so many ways. So, it’s with an open heart and an unshakeable sense of optimism that I move towards my flexitarian future. Thanks for reading!

Courtesy of Contributor Jenny Duffy

~The Vegan Project

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